“malalim ang galit ng taong mapagpasensya.”
heavy on this, kasi ang weird how we often praise people for being mapagpasensya without thinking about what that patience actually costs them. yong tahimik kahit pinagtitripan ng mga kaibigan, pinagiinitan, minamaliit, or repeatedly disrespected, madalas sinasabi, “ang mature nya” kapag hindi sumasagot sa magulang kahit nasasaktan na, “mabuti kang anak kasi di ka sumagot.”
parang sa atin, the ability to endure is automatically considered a virtue. sanay tayo sa “intindihin mo na,” “pagbigyan mo na,” “ikaw na ang umunawa,” hanggang sa yong taong laging umiintindi ang nauubusan ng taong iintindi sa kanya.
pero patience doesn’t mean walang limit. sometimes, it’s simply someone choosing silence because they know what their anger could do to a relationship. hindi lahat ng hindi gumaganti ay walang nararamdaman. hindi lahat ng “okay lang” ay totoong okay.
and maybe that’s the uncomfortable part of being filipino—we’re often taught to preserve relationships at almost any cost. family comes first, respect your elders, don’t talk back, don’t make things bigger than they are. magandang values naman ang respect and understanding, pero kapag ginagamit para patahimikin ang taong nasasaktan, patience stops becoming a virtue and starts becoming a burden.
kaya mabigat yong “malalim ang galit ng taong mapagpasensya.” kasi yong galit ng isang taong matagal nang tahimik isn’t necessarily sudden. it has history. may mga bagay na ilang beses niyang pinalampas, mga salitang pinili niyang hindi sagutin, mga pagkakataong pinili niyang umintindi kahit siya naman ang kailangang intindihin.
tapos kapag dumating na siya sa limit, saka sasabihin ng lahat, “nagbago ka na.” or worse, “lumabas na tunay na kulay niya.” actually, no. hindi siya biglang nagbago or what. matagal lang siyang nagtiis bago siya napagod.
kaya maybe we should stop assuming that someone’s silence means they’re okay. kasi a person can be patient and still be hurt. they can forgive and still remember. and they can love people while eventually learning that they also have limits.
heavy on this, kasi ang weird how we often praise people for being mapagpasensya without thinking about what that patience actually costs them. yong tahimik kahit pinagtitripan ng mga kaibigan, pinagiinitan, minamaliit, or repeatedly disrespected, madalas sinasabi, “ang mature nya” kapag hindi sumasagot sa magulang kahit nasasaktan na, “mabuti kang anak kasi di ka sumagot.”
parang sa atin, the ability to endure is automatically considered a virtue. sanay tayo sa “intindihin mo na,” “pagbigyan mo na,” “ikaw na ang umunawa,” hanggang sa yong taong laging umiintindi ang nauubusan ng taong iintindi sa kanya.
pero patience doesn’t mean walang limit. sometimes, it’s simply someone choosing silence because they know what their anger could do to a relationship. hindi lahat ng hindi gumaganti ay walang nararamdaman. hindi lahat ng “okay lang” ay totoong okay.
and maybe that’s the uncomfortable part of being filipino—we’re often taught to preserve relationships at almost any cost. family comes first, respect your elders, don’t talk back, don’t make things bigger than they are. magandang values naman ang respect and understanding, pero kapag ginagamit para patahimikin ang taong nasasaktan, patience stops becoming a virtue and starts becoming a burden.
kaya mabigat yong “malalim ang galit ng taong mapagpasensya.” kasi yong galit ng isang taong matagal nang tahimik isn’t necessarily sudden. it has history. may mga bagay na ilang beses niyang pinalampas, mga salitang pinili niyang hindi sagutin, mga pagkakataong pinili niyang umintindi kahit siya naman ang kailangang intindihin.
tapos kapag dumating na siya sa limit, saka sasabihin ng lahat, “nagbago ka na.” or worse, “lumabas na tunay na kulay niya.” actually, no. hindi siya biglang nagbago or what. matagal lang siyang nagtiis bago siya napagod.
kaya maybe we should stop assuming that someone’s silence means they’re okay. kasi a person can be patient and still be hurt. they can forgive and still remember. and they can love people while eventually learning that they also have limits.
“malalim ang galit ng taong mapagpasensya.”
heavy on this, kasi ang weird how we often praise people for being mapagpasensya without thinking about what that patience actually costs them. yong tahimik kahit pinagtitripan ng mga kaibigan, pinagiinitan, minamaliit, or repeatedly disrespected, madalas sinasabi, “ang mature nya” kapag hindi sumasagot sa magulang kahit nasasaktan na, “mabuti kang anak kasi di ka sumagot.”
parang sa atin, the ability to endure is automatically considered a virtue. sanay tayo sa “intindihin mo na,” “pagbigyan mo na,” “ikaw na ang umunawa,” hanggang sa yong taong laging umiintindi ang nauubusan ng taong iintindi sa kanya.
pero patience doesn’t mean walang limit. sometimes, it’s simply someone choosing silence because they know what their anger could do to a relationship. hindi lahat ng hindi gumaganti ay walang nararamdaman. hindi lahat ng “okay lang” ay totoong okay.
and maybe that’s the uncomfortable part of being filipino—we’re often taught to preserve relationships at almost any cost. family comes first, respect your elders, don’t talk back, don’t make things bigger than they are. magandang values naman ang respect and understanding, pero kapag ginagamit para patahimikin ang taong nasasaktan, patience stops becoming a virtue and starts becoming a burden.
kaya mabigat yong “malalim ang galit ng taong mapagpasensya.” kasi yong galit ng isang taong matagal nang tahimik isn’t necessarily sudden. it has history. may mga bagay na ilang beses niyang pinalampas, mga salitang pinili niyang hindi sagutin, mga pagkakataong pinili niyang umintindi kahit siya naman ang kailangang intindihin.
tapos kapag dumating na siya sa limit, saka sasabihin ng lahat, “nagbago ka na.” or worse, “lumabas na tunay na kulay niya.” actually, no. hindi siya biglang nagbago or what. matagal lang siyang nagtiis bago siya napagod.
kaya maybe we should stop assuming that someone’s silence means they’re okay. kasi a person can be patient and still be hurt. they can forgive and still remember. and they can love people while eventually learning that they also have limits.
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